Sack Boris!

One of my favourite things is my Sack Boris Oyster card holder.

You can get one here – go on, you know it makes sense.

It always gets a reaction and nothing pleases me more than when a bus driver or tube station worker comes out with a salty crack about our truly ridiculous ‘Mayor’, the one and only Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. Yes, that is his real name, I kid you not.

Here he is with his Bullingdon Club chums, including convicted criminal Darius Guppy.

I spent much of the Easter weekend reading Sonia Purnell’s book “Just Boris, A Tale of Blonde Ambition”.

Purnell worked with Boris at the Daily and Sunday Telegraph and it’s clear that she doesn’t really like Boris very much. In the introduction to the book, Purnell explains how she told his then wife to be Marina:

“I think he is the most ruthless, ambitious person I have ever met”.

This belief is at the heart of an excellent book, which systematically deconstructs the bumbling upper class twit persona that Boris (or Al as his friends and family know him) has created to get one over a gullible public. Boris is fiercely competitive and always plays to win; he is also clever enough to know that showing this side is a big turn off and shambling, scruffy Boris is much more likely to win hearts and minds (and votes).

My favourite bit so far – I’ve read up to where Boris becomes an MP in the 2001 General Election – involves a description of Boris at Oxford and describes some of the terms he used to describe other students. I attended the university a few years after Boris and met some poisonous snobs there. I also met some pretty grim types in sixth form – at a public school. Anyway, what I’m trying to communicate, is that despite first hand experience of poshos, snobs and toffy nosed twats, I was still taken aback by the terms he used to describe other undergraduates. Those who attended ‘minor’ public schools (ie fee paying but not Eton or Harrow) were ‘tugs’ – I can only assume that this refers to ‘tugging your forelock’ in a pseudo feudal gesture of deference. Students from grammar schools or comprehensives were ‘stains’. How insulting, how undermining, how loathsome is this? It also has a vaguely masturbatory inference to it – wot, wot, wot, ha, ha, very funny old chap. It makes me want to puke.

Obviously I must declare some sort of political bias. It goes without saying that as a paid up member of the Labour Party I am not a Boris fan (to put it mildly) and as someone whose views veer to the left, I am right behind Ken Livingstone. I stood in the tube station on Tuesday handing out “Ken’s Fare Deal” leaflets and will be out campaigning again at the weekend. I will do everything I can to get people out for Ken in my area; high turnout in Ken supporting inner London can undermine the Boris bias in outer London.

I think Ken’s policies – to cut fares, sort out the private rental sector and help Londoners access cheaper energy – are brilliant. I also like his plans to provide people on low incomes with help with childcare costs. These are exactly the sort of policies that London needs. I’m still not sure exactly what Boris plans to do and would be grateful if someone can enlighten me.

This vaguely hints at some of Boris’s ideas but shows that Boris’s main focus involves slagging off Ken.

I am both exasperated and fascinated by the furore created by Boris’s court jester Andrew Gilligan over Ken’s tax affairs – setting up a small company, especially if you have people working for you is totally normal for self employed people. Thousands of journalists, TV producers, designers and writers do it – it’s perfectly legit and GET OVER IT.

It annoys me that this minor piece of information has become such a big deal,but then what can you expect from our media? Look at who owns it:

Even the Guardian, which supposedly represents the left has been sniping at Ken – I’d give you the link to Jonathan Freedland’s “Ken is an anti-Semite” piece, but I find it too depressing. Just because Ken is slightly less Islamaphobic than most politicians (except for Gorgeous George), does this make him a raging anti-Semite?

****Sits back and waits for chorus of trolls to appear from under nearby bridge****

My views are best reflected by this:

Owen nails it yet again. Yes I am a fan. So sue me…

I was also not impressed by the Johnson camp’s latest salvo; namely that Ken’s campaign video (which he was seen crying in front of) contained actors.

PURE RUBBISH. But the mud has been slung and obviously some of it will stick as Boris is a CELEBRITY and we live in a pathetic culture where we worship celebrities.

I made my living for many, many years immersed in celebrity culture – name a z-lister from the 90s through to about 5 years ago and I’ve probably met them. 80s pop stars, TV chefs, kiss n tell girls, reality TV contestants, one hit wonders, soap actors, has beens and never weres. I thoroughly enjoyed my work, although now I look back on it and feel a bit guilty; I filled the nation’s head full of fluff and therefore distracting them from what was really going on back in the 90s/00s – globalisation, de-industrialisation, encouraging people to borrow themselves stupid etc etc.

I’m not going to bore you with self immolation here; anyway, as a mere cog in the machine, I was only obeying orders.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t buy into Boris’s pseudo celebrity. In the words of Miss Shania Twain: “It don’t impress me much”.

Boris has openly said that he wants to boost London’s status as a city state – – taking it back to what it was in Medieval times. He is the sock puppet of the Corporation of London. Yes, I’m really ranting here but I can’t control myself on this particular subject.

Time for another drink – after all, it is the weekend…

This entry was published on April 13, 2012 at 9:10 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “Sack Boris!

  1. “I filled the nation’s head full of fluff and therefore distracting them from what was really going on back in the 90s/00s – globalisation, de-industrialisation, encouraging people to borrow themselves stupid etc etc.”

    I’m not sure that this is just the 90s. There’s always been fluff to distract us from the realities of servitude – some of it has been beautiful and powerful and has been a big part of what makes us human beings, some of it has… ok… been nostalgic “top 20” clip shows. Or religion. Or royal weddings. Or austerity drives. Or wars.

    The big chunk of experience that isn’t exploitation, and how this works in an environment where exploitation is endemic is something that I want to get more of a theoretical handle on.

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